Cyber Safety in the News

/in /by

Cyberbullying In Tennessee Now Comes with A New Penalty for Teens: Losing Driving Privileges

ABC News, July 1, 2025

Tennessee just enacted a new law allowing juvenile courts to suspend the driver’s license of minors convicted of bullying or cyberbullying for up to one year. The legislation passed with strong bipartisan support (85–10 in the House, 26–0 in the Senate), emphasizing that revoking driving privileges sends a clear message to deter harmful behavior. First-time offenders can still apply for a restricted license, which permits driving only for essential purposes such as traveling to and from school, work, or church. To qualify, the teen must apply within ten days of the court ruling, pay a $20 application fee, meet age requirements, pass driving tests, and secure judicial approval specifying permitted times and locations. These restrictions explicitly bar driving to social gatherings and extracurricular events.

Advocates praise the law’s symbolic and practical impact but caution against relying on punishment alone. Scott Payne, of Contact Care Line in Knoxville, welcomed the move but stressed that bullies often arise from environmental factors, not inborn malicious intent; he urged lawmakers to couple legal penalties with mental health support and counseling initiatives. Other advocates stated the need for deeper engagement, saying support systems for students who bully or cyberbully should be part of all solutions going forward.

 

Study Finds Smartphone Bans in Dutch Schools Improved Focus

Reuters, July 4, 2025

A Dutch government‑commissioned study released in July 2025 found that the nationwide ban on mobile phones and similar electronic devices, beginning January 2024, has led to positive outcomes in secondary education. Among the 317 high schools surveyed, about 75% reported improved student concentration, two-thirds observed a more positive social climate, and approximately one-third noted better academic performance. State Secretary Marielle Paul praised the results, highlighting reduced distractions, increased lesson focus, and greater social engagement in classrooms.

While the ban also applies to primary schools, its impact there was limited, since most younger children do not yet bring smartphones to school. Most schools still allow medical‑related exceptions (for example, devices connected to hearing aids). The survey’s scope underscores broad early support for the measure despite initial resistance from some stakeholders, like parents and students. We see similar phone ban or reduced smartphone policies in schools across the United States as well.

 

Children Limiting Own Smartphone Use to Manage Mental Health, Survey Finds

The Guardian, July 10, 2025

Children aged 12 to 15 years old are increasingly choosing to step away from their smartphones, computers, and tablets on their own initiative to better manage their mental health, personal safety, and attention spans. A recent survey covering 20,000 young people and their parents across eighteen countries shows that 40% of children in this age group now take intentional breaks from digital devices, which is an 18% increase from 2022.

Young people are internalizing messages about screen harm and exploring strategies like pausing social media, turning off notifications, deleting certain apps, and in some cases quitting platforms entirely to protect their well‑being without fully abandoning digital life. Activists such as Daisy Greenwell, co‑founder of Smartphone Free Childhood, view these choices as a quiet form of rebellion—teenagers are rejecting the attention‑driven design of apps that profit from their time and self‑esteem being monetized.

The survey also reveals a generational shift: many young adults and teens today expressed they would delay smartphone access for their own children, seeing their own early unrestricted exposure as a mistake. Reports indicate that concerns over social media addiction now rank alongside global issues like climate change and housing costs among parental fears. Many younger users are voluntarily adopting digital curfews, app deletion, or self‑imposed limits as part of managing their mental health proactively. The education we provide to students and parents outlines why digital mindfulness is so important.

 

Kids are asking AI companions to solve their problems, according to a new study. Here’s why that’s a problem

CNN, July 16, 2025

A new study conducted by Common Sense Media reveals that a staggering 72% of U.S. teens (ages 13–17) have tried AI companion chatbots like Character.AI or Replika, with around 52% using them regularly, some even daily or weekly. While teens turn to these companions for entertainment, curiosity, and advice, especially during a personal crisis, the research highlights a critical issue: adolescence is a pivotal time for social and emotional development, and kids might be turning to AI instead of real people such as friends, family, or professionals when they’re in need.

Experts caution that AI companions are lacking in real empathy. They prioritize pleasing the user rather than modeling healthy friction or challenge which are key components of interpersonal growth. As Michael Robb, lead researcher at Common Sense Media, notes, such bots do not teach kids to interpret body language or manage difficult conversations, leaving them unprepared for real‑world social dynamics. While AI may offer immediate relief from loneliness, overreliance can reduce meaningful human interactions and heighten long‑term isolation.

Privacy and safety concerns are also significant. About 24% of teens admitted to sharing personal struggles with AI companions, often unaware that this data is stored by companies and may be used indefinitely. Teens might also face exposure to inappropriate content, receive misguided advice, or develop unhealthy emotional bonds. We often encourage parents to engage in open conversations, set usage boundaries, and emphasize the importance of seeking real-world support when needed.

 

A.I.-Driven Education: Founded in Texas and Coming to a School Near You

New York Times, July 27

This article highlights Alpha School, launched in Austin, Texas, which offers a streamlined academic day: just two hours of core subject learning guided by AI tutors, tailored to each student’s pace and interests. The rest of the school day is devoted to project‑based learning and life skills—public speaking, entrepreneurship, wilderness training, and teamwork activities like building a food truck. Alpha currently enrolls approximately two hundred elementary/middle school students and fifty high schoolers across two campuses and plans to expand to over a dozen cities this fall, including New York City and Orlando.

Supporters argue that this school model accelerates personalized learning and liberates students from traditional lecture‑based schooling, framing education as a creative and adaptive process. Co‑founder MacKenzie Price describes classrooms as “the next global battlefield,” insisting that this future is not years off, it is already unfolding. Critics from the American Federation of Teachers, counter that replacing human educators with AI risks undermining critical thinking, social development, and human relationships that are core to education. They warn that schools must strike a balance between technological innovation and the essential interpersonal elements of learning.

Cyber Safety in the News

/in /by

Del Oro Girls’ Softball Team Gives Up Phones For A Month To Shocking Results On And Off The Field

CBS News, June 5, 2025

The Del Oro High School girls’ varsity softball team in Loomis, California, embarked on a unique “digital detox” during the 2024–25 season by trading in smartphones for basic flip phones for a full month. The initiative was sparked by a student-parent conversation about reducing screen time and doubled as a fundraiser to install lights on their field. All twenty-seven team members participated, locking away smart devices and relying on flip phones with no apps or social media, inspiring community support as the team advanced to third place in the state.

The detox was not only about reclaiming focus; it had measurable effects. With help from the Amen Clinic, one player had brain scans before and after the month-long break, showing increased blood flow to regions involved in decision-making and impulse control. Test scores and content retention also improved, though some players experienced withdrawal-like anxiety, highlighting teens’ struggle with self-regulation. Experts noted the results suggest digital breaks can enhance mental clarity and social connection, which may have contributed to the team’s strong on-field performance. We offer options for students who are looking to start a digital detox of their own.

 

‘Sextortion’ Scams Involving Apple Messages Ended in Tragedy for Boys

The Wall Street Journal, June 7, 2025

Criminals are exploiting teenagers, particularly boys, through a disturbing “sextortion” scam conducted via Apple’s iMessage. Perpetrators typically pose as teenage girls on social platforms, gain a victim’s trust, then move the conversation to Messages. There, they coax teens into sharing explicit content (often AI-generated or stolen) and then threaten to expose it unless the victim pays a ransom. Trust in iMessage’s “blue‑bubble” security makes these scams especially effective, since teens are more inclined to trust communications within Apple’s ecosystem. In 2024 alone, over 5,000 sextortion incidents were reported to the U.S. National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC), with approximately 34% involving phone messaging apps, a statistic that is rising in 2025.

The repercussions have been tragic: reports of teenagers dying by suicide after receiving extortion demands underscore the real human toll of these scams. While Apple does offer a “communication safety” feature to blur nudity and warn under‑age users, it is not comprehensive for teens over thirteen and lacks tools for reporting threatening messages. Experts and law-enforcement officials are urging Apple to enhance in-app safety, improve reporting options, and educate parents and teens on recognizing these threats before they escalate. Our focus is to educate both students and parents on what those initial scammer messages may look like and the dangers of sextortion scams.

 

Teen Was Blackmailed with A.I.-Generated Nude Photo of Himself, Then He Died by Suicide

People Magazine, June 9, 2025

A 16-year-old Kentucky teen named Elijah “Eli” Heacock tragically died by suicide after falling victim to a sextortion scam. The scammer sent him AI-generated nude images purporting to be of Eli and demanded $3,000 to keep them private. Reports suggest Eli may have paid some of the money, but the demands continued. When his family saw the threatening messages on his phone at the hospital, they involved local law enforcement and the FBI, who confirmed that the photos were fake and part of a growing sextortion trend targeting youth.

The FBI warns that scammers do not need real photos to exploit children—they use AI imaging and psychological manipulation to extort money. Parents of victims often have little awareness of how severe and insidious these scams can be. In Eli’s case, the scammer escalated their threats even after receiving payment, demonstrating the ruthless and relentless nature of these criminals.

Eli’s parents are now advocating for greater public awareness and legislative action to curb sextortion. They warn that without education and legal protections; more teens could become victims of digital exploitation with devastating consequences. At Cyber Safety Consulting, we work to educate students on sextortion, so that they can recognize the early warning signs of a scam and protect themselves. This article also reminds readers that anyone feeling distressed can reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline for support.

 

Washington D.C. Public Students Will Soon Be Barred from Using Phones in School

The Washington Post, June 9, 2025

D.C. Public Schools (DCPS), serving more than 52,000 students will prohibit the use of cellphones and other personal electronic communication devices (including smartwatches, Bluetooth earbuds, laptops, and tablets) during the school day, beginning in the 2025–26 academic year. Exceptions will be made for educational purposes or for students with medical or accessibility needs. Each school has flexibility in implementation and most plan to have students store devices in lockers or magnetic pouches. The decision follows positive results from a two‑year pilot in middle schools, which showed improvements in student focus, learning outcomes, and teacher–student relationships.

The policy aligns with a national trend: several states, including Virginia, California, and Florida, have already introduced similar bans to combat concerns over mental health decline, classroom distractions, and cyberbullying. The D.C. Council is considering a broader city‑wide ban that would include charter schools, but DCPS is moving ahead with its own rule in fall 2025. Though some parents worry about being unable to contact their children in emergencies, district officials state that school communication systems, including robocalls, texts, and emails, are sufficient, and that removing personal devices reduces distractions during crises. We are seeing this trend from many schools across the country.


ChatGPT May Be Eroding Critical Thinking Skills, According to a New MIT Study

Time Magazine, June 23, 2025

In a controlled experiment, MIT Media Lab researchers enlisted fifty-four adults (ages 18–39) across three groups: those writing SAT-style essays using ChatGPT, using Google search, and without any technological assistance. EEG measurements revealed that the ChatGPT group exhibited the lowest neural engagement, showing reduced activity in brain regions linked to creativity, memory, and attention. Their essays were also deemed repetitive and lacking originality, and by the third essay many participants simply copy‑pasted AI-generated responses.

In contrast, participants who wrote on their own displayed higher brain connectivity, indicating deeper cognitive involvement and greater satisfaction with their work. Those using Google search showed similar strong engagement. When ChatGPT users were later asked to revise an old essay without AI assistance, they struggled to recall their writing, suggesting a lack of memory encoding or internalization.

The researchers caution that while AI tools like ChatGPT offer efficiency, they may undermine long‑term learning, particularly in developing brains. The pre‑peer‑review study urges educators and policymakers to integrate AI thoughtfully, prioritizing active learning and brain engagement over convenience. The team is already exploring similar effects in programming education, with early results indicating even starker decreases in cognitive activity.

Cyber Safety in the News

/in /by

Mark Zuckerberg Says Don’t Worry About Loneliness Epidemic Because He Can Just Recreate All Your Friends In AI

MSN, May 2, 2025

In a recent interview, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg proposed that AI companions could help address the growing loneliness epidemic by serving as virtual friends. He noted that the average American has fewer than three close friends, while many desire more meaningful connections. Zuckerberg envisions AI chatbots providing constant, personalized interactions to fill this social gap, suggesting that over time, society will develop a vocabulary to articulate the value of such relationships.

However, experts’ express skepticism about the effectiveness of AI companions in replacing genuine human connections. Psychologists argue that while AI can simulate conversation, it lacks the depth, empathy, and mutual understanding inherent in human friendships. Relying on AI for emotional support may create a false sense of connection and potentially exacerbate feelings of isolation.

Critics also raise concerns about the ethical implications of integrating AI into social interactions. They caution that promoting AI as a substitute for human companionship could dehumanize relationships and undermine the essential human need for real social bonds. Parents should be encouraged to prioritize real-life social opportunities for their children and talk openly with them about the differences between artificial and authentic relationships.

 

AI Tutors For Kids Gave Fentanyl Recipes and Dangerous Diet Advice

Forbes, May 12, 2025

A recent Forbes investigation revealed that AI-powered educational tools marketed for children are dispensing dangerously inappropriate content. These AI tutors, intended to assist with academic learning, have provided detailed instructions for synthesizing fentanyl, a potent and lethal opioid, as well as promoting harmful dieting practices. Such incidents underscore safety protocols within AI systems designed for young users.

Arming kids with fentanyl-related information is particularly alarming given the ongoing opioid crisis. Studies have shown that AI can facilitate the production and distribution of synthetic opioids, exacerbating public health challenges. The accessibility of such information through AI tutors raises concerns about the potential for misuse and the need for stringent oversight. In response to these findings, experts are calling for enhanced regulatory measures to ensure the safety of AI applications targeted at children. This includes using content filters, establishing guidelines for AI behavior, and enforcing accountability for developers. As AI continues to integrate into educational settings, prioritizing the well-being of young users has become even more important.

 

Gen Z Users and A Dad Tested Instagram Teen Accounts. Their Feeds Were Shocking.

The Washington Post, May 18, 2025

A recent investigation by Gen Z users and a concerned parent into Instagram’s “Teen Accounts” revealed significant shortcomings in the platform’s safety measures for young users. Despite Meta’s assurances that these accounts would shield teens from sensitive content, the testers found that newly created teen profiles were still exposed to sexually explicit material, posts promoting disordered eating, and substance-related content. While some protective features, such as default private settings and restricted direct messaging, functioned as intended, the algorithm continued to recommend harmful content, raising concerns about its influence on teens’ perceptions of acceptable behavior. Meta dismissed the findings as statistically insignificant and biased, but experts argue that the company’s voluntary protections are insufficient, highlighting the need for regulatory actions like the Kids Online Safety Act.

The testers, aged 18 to 22 to avoid exposing minors to harmful content, created accounts representing various teenage demographics and interests. Despite the accounts being set to private by default, all testers reported encountering content that violated Meta’s own definitions of sensitive material. Some features, such as reminders to close the app after 60 minutes, worked inconsistently and the algorithm’s recommendations often led to a focus on alcohol and nicotine products. These findings underscore the ongoing risks social media poses to young people and the inadequacy of self-regulation by tech companies in protecting minors from harmful content online. We always recommend that parents do their research and test social media apps for themselves before offering it to their children.

 

Trump Signs Bill Cracking Down on Explicit Deepfakes

NBC News, May 19, 2025

The bipartisan Take It Down Act, which passed both chambers of Congress overwhelmingly, is one of the few pieces of legislation Trump has signed into law in his second term. The Take It Dow Act makes publishing such content illegal, subjecting violators to mandatory restitution and criminal penalties such as prison, fines, or both. The bill also establishes criminal penalties for people who make threats to publish intimate visual depictions, some of which are created using artificial intelligence.

The measure requires websites, through enforcement by the Federal Trade Commission, to remove such imagery after they receive requests from victims within 48 hours and to make efforts to take down copies, as well. This is an important protection for students as they begin to grapple with the ease in which AI can create these images.

 

Should You Practice ‘Appstinence’? Gen Z And Gen Alpha Are Embracing This Harvard Student Movement

Fast Company, May 22, 2025

Appstinence, which refers to abstaining from using your apps, is a movement encouraging people to get off social media and become less attached to their smartphones. It was founded by a Harvard graduate student named Gabriela Nguyen. The 24-year-old, who grew up in the center of Big Tech in Silicon Valley, realized she was addicted to both social media and her phone, from an early age. So, she decided to do something about it and started a club at the Ivy League school for her fellow students. We hear from students regularly that these devices have become habit forming for them and that they are looking for alternatives to the constant distraction.

Aimed at her Gen Z and Gen Alpha peers—although it applies to everyone who feels they have an unhealthy relationship with tech. Appstinence forgoes popular quick fixes like screen time controls, algorithm hacking, or digital detoxes, and offers something much more radical: a five-step method to free yourself once and for all from the chains of technology addiction. Click on the article to read more about their 5-step method to decrease, deactivate, delete, downgrade, and depart.

Cyber Snooping: Are your kids snooping for their Christmas presents?

/in /by

Where do kids look when snooping for Christmas gifts? The closet? The attic? The basement? Nope. Today, kids are taking to the internet to find out what they are getting for Christmas. The new ‘thing’ among kids is to go through their parents’ email searching for receipts and shipping confirmation emails from places like Amazon. Bernie Tafoya, of WBBM News Radio in Chicago, ran a quick story on this new practice by kids and asked for my thoughts on it.

Some Kids Turning To Cyber-Snooping To Peek At Christmas Gifts

Bernie Tafoya story

Cyber Safety In The News

/in /by

As part of the Cyber Safety Consulting mission, we want to bring you as much current information as possible. To that end, we have pulled together a compilation of news articles over the past month. One may catch your interest, two, or maybe all of them. Take a look and we hope this helps!

For the full article, click the headline and you will be taken to the original article.

How to Talk to Youth About the Dangers of Viral Challenges and Online Safety

We believe having open conversations about risky behaviors online is critical. While starting these conversations can be difficult, they often need to happen sooner rather than later. They encourage your child to have a healthy online experience in an increasingly connected world.

How To Talk To Teenagers About Online Pornography

We know that the average age of online pornography exposure is 12 years old. This makes it imperative to have these conversations early on, and it should be a casual, on-going conversation. It can also be a great time to include and explain your family’s values about sex.

Study shows screen time in infancy can lead to behavioral problems later on

Parents often wonder what the right amount of screen time is for their child. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that young children stay away from screens until the age of 18 months, and then screentime should be limited to no more than one hour a day for kids ages 2-5 years old.

The U.S. Surgeon General says age 13 is ‘too early’ to join social media

For many years, Dr. Vivek Murthy has voiced concerns about social media and its effect on the American youth, and we have listened. He now states that social media often does a complete disservice to children and teenagers, and he suggests waiting until age 16-18 to join.

Why We Need Less Social Media

Students often share with us that the overuse and overexposure on social media has exacerbated their mental health issues. Yet, many teenagers also feel like it is difficult to take a break from it. For some, the algorithm is too much and manifests as social media addiction, a behavioral disorder becoming more recognized as a serious health issue.

‘Luddite’ teens don’t want your likes. They think the only thing better than a flip phone is no phone at all.

This group of teens in New York are doing something different, and it is a movement we are encouraged to see. They are foregoing the typical trend of the social media obsessed and using their time for other interests. Without having a smartphone on hand, they believe it allows them to create true connection with their peers.

Discord, explained: How the social media platform at the center of the Pentagon leak works

We find that more and more students are using Discord every day. Discord’s servers are, essentially, the same as old-school chat rooms and private blogs. They will have the same problems and opportunities as previous online communities. Research into youth safety online finds that government regulation aimed at protecting minors on social media rarely has the desired outcome, and more often results in disempowering and isolating youth instead.

Social media ban for minors moves forward with exception for parental permission

With this legislation proposal, minors would have to get parental permission to create accounts on TikTok, Instagram and other social media platforms. This falls under an amended bill that passed the House Ways and Means Committee recently. Iowa is not the only state considering legislation restricting minors’ social media use. Utah lawmakers passed a bill requiring parental permission for minors to use social media in March, and other state legislatures including Arkansas and Minnesota are considering similar measures.

Arkansas passes bill requiring social media platforms to verify ages and seek parental consent

We will start to see more and more states passing legislation to require social media companies to take responsibility and action regarding student’s mental health. Many questions still remain as to how states can logistically make these sweeping changes to social media.

Jennifer Garner’s kids aren’t on social media. She says her oldest is ‘grateful’

Jennifer Garner’s three children are going to have to break out the charts, graphs and PowerPoint presentations if they want her approval to be on social media. We applaud her for thinking critically about social media and how it affects her children.

Snapchat’s AI chatbot is now free for all global users, says the AI will snap you back

We have concerns based on some of the prompts and responses that AI technology sends to children. It can often respond in an unsafe manner, including instructing children about how to mask the smell of alcohol and pot at a birthday party or how to set the mood when having sex for the first time.

Pinterest Porn: What Parents Should Know?

Many parents forget that Pinterest is a photo-sharing site open to the public. And as such, they should take measures to ensure their children can use it safely. Some images, videos, and external links do slip by Pinterest filters. Therefore, it’s entirely possible children will accidentally come across mature content.

Cyber Safety in the News

/in , /by

As part of the Cyber Safety Consulting mission, we want to bring you as much current information as possible. To that end, we have pulled together a compilation of news articles over the past month. One may catch your interest, two, or maybe all of them. Take a look and we hope this helps!

For the full article, click the headline and you will be taken to the original article.

ChatGPT poses challenges for educators

New York Times

ChatGPT continues to be a challenge for educators. Universities are aiming to educate students about the new Artificial Intelligence tools available online. The University at Buffalo in New York and Furman University in Greenville, S.C., said they planned to embed a discussion of A.I. tools into required courses that teach entering or freshman students about concepts such as academic integrity.

Teens and Pornography – 2022 Report by Common Sense Media

Common Sense Media

The results of this research confirm a very important point: It’s time for us to talk about pornography. We need to consider conversations with teens about pornography the same way we think of conversations about sex, social media, drug and alcohol use, and more. That said, pornography isn’t for kids, and work must be done to ensure they do not encounter it accidentally.

White Supremacy is growing in online gaming communities

Fast Company

The new Anti-Defamation League (ADL) study highlights the increasing presence of extremism and toxicity within games such as ‘Grand Theft Auto’ and ‘World of Warcraft.’ “White supremacists and extremists are pushing their ideas into the mainstream across society, including online games,” said ADL CEO Jonathan Greenblatt in a statement. “We know that what starts online doesn’t always end online—it can have deadly consequences in our communities.”

Poison pill: How fentanyl purchased on Snapchat killed a 17-year-old

Washington Post

An alarming number of fentanyl deaths are now caused by what officials call “hot” pills — tablets made to look like prescription medicine, but which instead contain potentially lethal amounts of fentanyl. These can be easily purchased using social media for anyone with a credit card, Cash App, Venmo or PayPal account.  Alarmed drug enforcement officials ramped up their warnings that “One Pill Can Kill,” a campaign to alert the public that the illicit drug market, boosted by easy access to online dealers, was flooded with pills that seemed harmless but were often deadly.

Jonathan Haidt on the ‘National Crisis’ of Gen Z

Wall Street Journal

Warped by social media and a victimhood culture, today’s young people will imperil American culture and capitalism, he warns. To hear social psychologist Jonathan Haidt tell it, today’s generation gap has widened into a chasm. “We have a whole generation that’s doing terribly,” he says in an interview and calls it a “national crisis.”

Map: Here are the states that have banned TikTok on government devices

Yahoo News

Kentucky, North Carolina, and Wisconsin this week became the latest states to ban the popular China-based video sharing mobile app TikTok from government-issued devices. They join the federal government and 25 state governments to make such a move.  FBI director Chris Wray expressed concerns that China’s government could use the app owned by Chinese tech giant ByteDance to exploit Americans’ user data for espionage operations and to control their mobile device software.

TikTok Challenges and Safety Settings

/in , /by

TikTok, have you heard of it? Without question, this was the top-ranking app in 2020, with good reason. According to Forbes, the social media platform, used for creating, sharing and viewing short videos, had 850 million downloads in 2020. As the pandemic set in and lockdowns were put in place, TikTok grew exponentially in popularity.

Taking a closer look at this craze over the last year, there are so many areas in which to dive deeper. First of all, if you are wondering what this app even is, start here: TikTok Safety: What You Need to Know will provide you with a basic overview of the app.

Personally, I spent more hours than I care to admit, scrolling through my TikTok feed. While I am not creating TikToks, I do love to watch them, and it is amazing how 10 minutes can quickly turn into hours passively viewing TikToks. Watching other people dance, regardless of ability, brings a smile to my face.

If you think this is a platform designed for Generation Z or even Millennials, you are mistaken. While these groups dominate the app, there are no age limits to those enjoying the fun to be had. Everyone from Grandma to the baby of the house is dancing, telling jokes, and generating memes. Additionally, you might find a single person grooving to a song from the 90’s or an entire family performing a choregraphed dance right there in the family room. There is no single age group, race, or gender cranking out the videos; that is one of the great beauties of TikTok. All are welcome.

While many users create their own original content, trends and challenges have taken root and lived a rich life from TikTok. A challenge starts with a single video that turns into a widely followed (going viral) and replicated video. The videos can be anything from a dance to a comedy bit or a simple quote. Some of these trends are positive and entertaining, while others can be negative or dangerous.

Looking at a positive example, the Dreams Challenge breathed new life into Fleetwood Mac’s 1977 hit single “Dreams”, which most Gen Z’ers had never even listen to. Credit Nathan Apodaca, an Idaho potato worker, for making a TikTok in which he rides his long board, sips Ocean Spray Cranberry juice, and lip-syncs the hit single. The unsuspecting video went viral with 72 million views and 12 million likes. It even got Stevie Nicks (of Fleetwood Mac) to lace up her roller skates and participate in her own TikTok, not to mention getting the hit back on Billboard’s top 10.

You can also find dance challenges where users replicate the same dance to a single song. People dance alone for the camera, with friends, and as a family, no skill needed! Several of the more popular challenges over the past year include “The Renegade”, “Blinding Lights”, and “Savage”. Even LeBron James and family joined in the fun with a TikTok made for the Can’t Touch This (MC Hammer) Challenge. Regardless of creating the videos or simply viewing in the feed, these provided hours of fun and connection for people during the Pandemic.

Another positive that came out of the last year of TikTok, and provides a lifeline for many, is the ‘I had pasta tonight’ phrase which is code for someone who is experiencing depression or suicidal thoughts.  It gives Gen Z’ers a way to subtly reach out to the community for help and support. When someone posts this, the community jumps into action by flooding the struggling user’s account with thousands of likes and positive comments of support and reasons to live.  The message sent is ‘life is worth living and the community wants you here’. I wonder how many lives have been saved in this way!

As with everything, where there is good, there can be bad in the form of offensive, dangerous, or negative challenges. Many of these challenges start as pranks but then go viral and problems result. Take, for example, the Skull Breaker Challenge. This challenge originated in Spain when two kids recorded the stunt, posted and it went viral. What is it? Think back to when we were kids, and someone pulls a desk chair out when another student is in the process of sitting. Similarly, in this situation, three people stand in a line taking turns jumping up, however, the person in the middle does not know that the two others will kick his legs out from under him with the intent for the unknowing participant to fall backwards. While this may have started as a harmless prank, there have been instances of serious brain injury resulting.

Another challenge that started innocently but has the possibility of going bad is the Silhouette Challenge. Users start by creating a video that is innocent in nature. As the music changes, a second video is added that is has a filter, changing the appearance of the user into a silhouette. The idea is that the silhouette encourages a more comfortable way for the user to show off a provocative pose, sexy lingerie, or even less. With the filter, the user is appropriately obscured from view. The problem arose when another user started posting videos on how to peel back the filter, exposing the original user in ways never intended. The videos quickly transitioned from fun to life altering, damaging videos.

In a year that has been filled with isolation, boredom, stress, and anxiety, TikTok has provided many positives to life. Clearly, the platform is very social in nature and has truly been open to every type of person regardless of interest, age, and ability to dance like Mariah Carey. It has provided connection for many and more importantly, connection for many that had very few avenues to find others. And finally, it has offered countless hours of entertainment to the young, the old and everyone in between. But like all apps, it comes with its risks and dangers. Moderation, balance, and knowledge are key to helping kids maximize the benefits and minimize the risks to social media apps like TikTok.

Online Gaming: Is this a problem for my child?

/in , /by

This past week I had the privilege of spending three days in a school, working face to face with students from 4th through 8th grade. Although I have been working with students all fall via Zoom, there is something special about being in the classroom with them. The conversation is naturally more interactive. One question I love to start each session with is “where do you guys hang out online?” My objective is twofold: I want to tailor my talk to what they best relate to AND I always am looking to find any new trends both by gender and age. The most dominating answer I received over these three days was simple: Gaming, gaming, and more gaming. The specific grade did not seem to make a difference; there is a lot of online gaming happening with tweens and teens. It makes sense as they have a whole lot of time to fill these days!

As I thought about the high frequency of gaming in our kids’ lives, I thought about my own kids. I have a 22-, 19-, and 16-year-old. Over the last 10 years, we have purchased three gaming systems for the kids: Wii, Xbox, and Play Station. Of those three systems, only one currently remains in my home because both my sons have hijacked a system for use in their college apartments. Age does not seem to be a factor….4th grade to college, gaming is huge!

Obviously, there is a need, as parents, to deepen our knowledge of the gaming world. With that goal in mind, here is a quick FAQ to cover some information around this topic.

What devices are kids gaming on?

Anywhere and everywhere. Games can be played on iPads, mobile phones, iTouches, laptops, and gaming consoles. If the device allows access to the Internet, games can be played. Most games are either downloaded from the Internet, downloadable apps, or websites.  Realize that if your child is gaming on a console, like Nintendo Switch, they can game with anyone, anywhere and not just the people in their physical space.

What are the most popular games?

There are lots. With younger elementary students, there seems to be a high frequency of Roblox, Minecraft, and the latest craze of Among Us. As kids get a little older, they are moving to more sophisticated games: Fortnite Battle Royal, Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto, League of Legends as well as EA Sports games like Fifa, Madden NFL, and NBA 2K.

Are there any upsides to gaming?

Of course! When the games are used with balance and moderation, there are benefits. First, online gaming provides a line of connection for kids to hang out with their friends and do what they enjoy. This has been a huge benefit during the pandemic, especially for kids that do not have access or an interest in social media. Additionally, most of the games require strategic thinking and creativity, think Minecraft. Other games require collaboration skills. Players will survive longer and progress farther if they can work effectively with others.

Are there downsides of gaming?

There are downsides, but many of these downsides come into play depending on the game content and the amount of time spent playing. It is important to consider the personality of your child when thinking through the dangers. Addiction or excessive play time is a common problem; once they start playing, it could be hard to stop and even harder to find another activity as interesting or stimulating as the online game. Another concern is isolation. While gaming can be a good source of connection to friends, it can also lead to physical isolation in the home. The presence of online predators is far more common than most parents realize. Predators go where kids are and especially where parents are not. Online bullying is another real concern. The culture of this world promotes ‘trash talking’ in the words of students, that can very quickly cross the line into online harassment. As you move into the genre of first shooter games, exposure to violence, which, for some kids, has shown to lead to increased aggression.

You mentioned the presence of predators. How does that work?

As I mentioned above, predators go where kids are unsupervised. This is the online gaming world. It represents the greatest disconnect from parental knowledge to where kids spend time. The more time they spend, the more opportunity for a predator. That is the first part of the predator equation. The second part of the equation is an opportunity to groom or build a relationship with the child. Online gaming provides a perfect environment, especially with games that require teamwork. The predator can easily build a ‘partnership’ with the child which will lead to trust and friendship. When a predator can establish these things, it opens the door to the predator.

My kid loves to game. I’m not sure I can eliminate this. What suggestions do you have for safely gaming?

I understand your situation as my kids are the same! There are things you can definitely do to reduce your child’s vulnerability. It starts with you! Understand what games they are playing and what the dangers are with that game. Understand the age rating for the game (they all have age ratings). Read reviews and google questions like Is Fortnite safe for kids? You can also consult other sites like Common Sense Media which offers reviews of every game. Here are a few other suggestions:

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Gaming is a topic that has tremendous breadth and depth. It is one of the trickier aspects of parenting around technology. If you feel overwhelmed or intimidated, another option is asking your child to show you how it works. This may provide you with a pathway to effective conversation with them. Continue to dig in and don’t give up. Let me leave you with an inspirational quote I find quite appropriate: “It will be hard, but it’ll be the right kind of hard!”

***News Alert***Drug Dealers Connecting and Selling Drugs to Kids on Snapchat

/in , /by

Did you know that drug dealers are wheeling and dealing with kids on Snapchat? And the drugs they are pedaling across your middle and high schooler’s favorite app are often laced with fentanyl, resulting in overdoses.

While very scary, I wondered if my own high school junior knew about this trend on Snapchat. I asked her and she did not know about this or had seen it online. The question sparked her interest. Together, we watched this NBC Today Show clip, which depicts the tragic story of Dr. Laura Bermen’s 16-year-old son. He bought a Xanax on Snapchat, had it delivered to his home, took it, and was found dead in his bedroom a few hours later. What he did not know was the Xanax was laced with fentanyl, which causes overdose.

When we finished watching the clip, she looked at me and asked, “What’s fentanyl?” I was shocked!

“You don’t know what fentanyl is???” I replied. This is on me. I never thought about talking about this with her or my two older children. To be honest, it scares the life out of me. While I hope my children never experiment with drugs, the reality is they might. And now, with the latest trend of drug dealers infiltrating the place where kids hang and connect most often and freely, it has just become incrementally easier for dealers to connect, sell and deliver. With a single click, a teen can purchase drugs and have them delivered to the house. It’s like Uber Eats for drugs!

Snapchat Drug Menu

My heart breaks for Dr. Bermen and her husband, but I am grateful for their willingness to share their experience in the hope that we can educate and protect our kids. PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO WATCH THIS CLIP, SHARE IT WITH YOUR CHILD, AND HAVE A CONVERSATION.

Helping Our Kids Process Digital Media About Capitol Riots

/in , /by

The events of Wednesday, January 6th will not soon be forgotten regardless of your political preferences and beliefs. These events continue to dominate the news cycle in various forms, and so we continue to relive the events repeatedly. News stories, op-eds, video footage, and even various memes can be found everywhere on the Internet.

As some of you may or may not know, my three kids are in that in between place…physically, they look and sound like full-grown adults, but mentally and emotionally, they aren’t quite there yet. They have limited life experiences and are just beginning to form their own thoughts and opinions on the world we are living in.

This weekend, as I continued to scroll through my newsfeed like a drug addict looking for my next score, I realized that tweens and teens, my kids included, are deeply exposed to these events on their own feeds.

According to Common Sense Media, 54% of teenagers say they get their news from social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and even TikTok. 50% of those surveyed reported getting their news from YouTube, which means they are more likely to learn about current events by watching videos as well as getting the reports from social media personalities. It begs the question “How accurate and credible is the information?”

This made me wonder What are my own kids seeing, reading, and talking about as it relates to these events?

In February 2018, we experienced another national tragedy, the mass shooting at Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL. Many school administrators reached out to me looking for suggestions for their parent communities as they grappled with how to talk about this horrific event with their kids. In many ways, the events of last week bring up many similar concerns:

  • What information are our kids hearing, watching, and reading? There is significant footage of violence, vandalism, and foul language that comes with news reports. For example, I went to YouTube and searched “Capitol mob footage” and here is the first result I received. It makes me uncomfortable to watch, so how would an eleven or twelve year old feel?
  • How credible are the sources of the media that our kids are consuming? Kids have little to no interest in verifying online sources for credibility or to understand what bias is being presented. As we know, the Internet is filled with misinformation as well as heavily biased content. This is a great opportunity to remind them to be aware, question, and research the source of information.
  • How are our kids processing the information? When I was a child, I watched coverage of world events on a television, in a living room, with family members. My parents could sensor or filter what I heard or how much information I watched about the event. They could see how I reacted to the information. How did I process this in my fragile tween and teen brain? Could I handle it? Did I need to talk about it? Fast forward to today. Children watch coverage, see graphic videos, and learn details, on a smartphone, in a bedroom, ALONE. They process their emotions of fear, anxiety, and confusion alone and without conversation with family, thus missing out on reassurance, clarity, and comfort.

As a parent, I forget that my kids are hearing about these events because I do not actually see them watching TV. When it dawns on me that I should check in with them, it is clear that they are very informed of the events and must be getting this information online.

Here is our opportunity to engage in dialog. But how can you safely and in a non-threatening way, start a conversation? That is always the challenge, especially with teenagers. Here are a few suggestions that might help get the conversation started:

  • What have you heard about the Capitol riots?
  • Have you watched any videos from the riots?
  • How do you feel when you watch the footage?
  • Where online do you go to learn about this?
  • What do you think about all this?

I always remind parents, myself included, to do your best to provide kids the space to talk. Take the time to listen. Understand their thoughts and opinions. Do more listening than speaking. I find that simple responses like “really” and “oh” help to create safe space for them to open their thoughts and feelings. Finally, after a productive conversation with my kids, regardless of whether their thoughts align with me, I often text them an article that might be helpful to them. I truly believe that sometimes the best parenting is just being there and quietly listening, supporting and mentoring.