Parents checking Instagram: a good and a bad story

It has been an ironic week. I received two messages from moms sharing their stories with me. One mom had attended a safety presentations where we talked about Instagram. The other mom follows me on Facebook and my website. They are different people with different parenting styles. One had a success story while one had a troubling story to share. However, where the differences end is in the fact that they both have become involved in their children’s online life and both are looking at their middle schoolers’ Instagram accounts (Yippee!)

Let’s start with the good story. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent.) Susie walked into the presentation as a self proclaimed technology challenged parent. She didn’t understand social media and was intimidated. As a result, her child had no social media privileges. Her daughter kissed her mother good night as she left for the meeting with the hope that she could get an Instagram account at breakfast the next day after her mother became a social media aficionado.

Susie took copious notes as we talked about the pros and cons of Instagram. She followed along when I walked through how to set up the account so that it is private. The next day, feeling a bit more comfortable and confident with Instagram, she gave her daughter the go ahead to set up an account (queue the cheers from 6th graders). As her daughter downloaded the app and opened her account, Susie ensured that the privacy was set properly and obtained the password from her daughter.

A few days after her Instagram was up and running, I received this in an email:

Katie plays the piano.  It’s a lot of hard work and she always acts like she HATES it.  Yesterday she had a recital, and played a piece successfully that she has been practicing for months.  When she got home, she posted a video of her performance to her Instagram friends.  This morning I got a bit teary when I read over the incredibly sweet and encouraging comments from her friends.  This was just the shot in the arm she needed to continue with piano.  I never thought I’d say this, but “Thank God for Instagram”.  I can tell Katie over and over again how special it is that she can play the piano, but when her PEERS tell her, that’s darn effective (:

The second story comes from a mom who found an Instagram post ‘alarming’. The other day, while her son was at school, she paged through his account. She found a post from another child who her son doesn’t hang around with but is following. The post said this:

Alarming? I agree! Alarming on many levels. Is this kid really suffering? Is this kid trying to bother another kid with unbelievable guilt? Is this a middle schooler’s idea of a joke? This mom had no idea who the child was and what the situation might be but she was very concerned. She immediately called the school counselor and told him what she found. Within hours the post was gone. She may never know any of the answers to what was really behind the post, but that is not important. What is important is that she checked her child’s account, found something very troubling and acted on it. She may have helped a child in trouble or maybe prevented another child from being bullied online.

One story makes me feel good and demonstrates the good that can come from social media. Another story bothers and scares me as to how kids use social media and what they are willing to put out there. But the good news is that these are both great examples of what happens when parents take an active role in their children’s online life. Safety levels are increased not only for their own children but for many others. Conversations take place. Kids are educated. Parents are aware.

Thank you to both of you for sharing your stories with me. And thank you for allowing me to share them with others.