Snapchat Trends: Snap Map

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Note: This is the second of three articles on Snapchat. If you missed the first article, take a look: Snapchat Trends: Streaks and Scores.

I asked my 16 year old son’s friend, Nick, what he thought about Snapchat’s newest feature, Snap Map. His response was immediate and strong: “It’s creepy!”

At the end of June, Snapchat released an update to the app which includes Snap Map. This new feature allows a user to share location with all Snapchat friends, a few friends that are selected, or disappear from the map at anytime, referred to as “Ghost Mode”. When enabled, a friend can activate Snap Map and an icon representing the user will appear on the map in the user’s exact current location.

Concerns

So what should parents know about this? The first thing to consider is the critical issue of privacy and how much information our kids are sharing on social media. Privacy is one of the most difficult messages to get kids to understand and the perception that things disappear from Snapchat only clouds this message. Once something goes online, including Snapchat, privacy has been forfeited forever. I also talk to kids about the risks of “checking in” with a current location. Letting the world know an exact location at any given time is opening a huge window into your child’s private world, including home address, friends’ home addresses, school, and favorite hang out spots. Believe it or not, kids struggle to realize that they are communicating all that information.

So now enters the functionality of Snap Map, which can potentially allow any person who is a Snapchat “friend” to track your child’s every movement.  Let’s think about this… according to Statista, 79% of responding Internet users, aged 13 to 24, use Snapchat.

Snapchat is reported to have 100 million daily active users. I don’t have to do the math to know that if a large number of that 100 million are our children who have Snap Map enabled, there are a lot of locations being shared online!

Another issue to consider relates to exclusion and friendships. Snapchat describes Snap Map “as a way to meet up with friends in real life rather than just watching each other’s lives on your phone.” A noble idea, to say the least. So I asked a 16 year old girl what she thought of this idea. She talked about this being another way that social media can hurt people’s feelings. She said that because she could see Snap Map with all of her friends together, she will know when her friends were getting together WITHOUT her. She added “I would just rather not know if I’m not invited. Sometimes I’m not included and that’s ok. I get it. But I don’t need to see it.” The insights that teens provide can be sobering and eye opening. She was right. We don’t need to always know what our friends are doing and sometimes we are not included.

If you are like me, the first thing I wondered was if my own children have Snap Map enabled. Obviously I could simply ask them, but that is not always the best first approach as it can lead to some defensiveness, a sure conversation blocker. One suggestion would be to simply ask them if they have heard about it. In my house, that question usually initiates a quick eye roll (which I ignore) and then some explanation of what it is. If you can provide a place for your kids to talk about it openly, you might get a feel for where you need to go with the conversation. When given the proper platform, teens can do a good job of communicating their opinions on these issues. For younger tweens and teens, this is a great opportunity to talk about privacy and sharing of sensitive information.

Helpful Hints

  • Location sharing is off by default, in Ghost Mode.
  • It is not possible to share locations unless you are friends on Snapchat.
  • Snap Map is accessed by going to the camera screen and pinching your fingers together as if you are zooming out of a picture.
  • The location is updated on the Snap Map ONLY when Snapchat is open. The location is not updated in the background of the app.
  • Snaps that are submitted to Our Story can still show up on the map even in Ghost Mode.

Snapchat Trends: Streaks and Scores

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Note: This is the first of a 3 part blog series on Snapchat. Next up is a look at the latest feature from Snapchat, Snapmap.

In October 2014, I published Snapchat: Do those pictures really disappear forever? The objective was to provide an introduction to this relatively new app that was gaining popularity at an alarming speed. As I read over this blog today, I realize some of the basic information still holds true. However, 2.5 years later, Snapchat has become the clubhouse leader as the preferred app among teens. For many, this app has become more than simply a fun way to share pictures, but also a primary mode of communication. Most teens prefer to ‘snap’ someone rather than sending a traditional text (did I just refer to text as ‘traditional’?).

Just how popular is Snapchat? Here are some interesting stats and fun facts (as published by Omnicore, January, 2017) :

71% of Snapchat users are under 34 years old, 45% are between 18-24, & 23% are between 13-17

Total number of monthly active users = 300 million

Total number of daily active users = 100 million

Average time spent in the app per user on a daily basis = 25-30 minutes

According to a report by Statista (spring of 2017), Snapchat ranks as the ‘most important social media network of teens in the United States’. In my own home, it has proven to be an excellent way to stay connected on a daily basis with my son who is away at college. He is not a person who enjoys phone conversation, but I can send him a quick snap of the dog or a fun selfie with a caption ‘thinking of you’ or ‘miss you’. He will always return the snap with one of his own giving me some visibility into what’s going on in his life.

As the app has gained immense popularity, Snapchat has continued to add to its features and functions in an effort to make it an exciting place to be in the online world. These new features have increased its appeal to social media audiences, of which teens make up a high percentage.

Streaks

One way Snapchat keeps it users engaged on a daily basis is through Snapstreaks. A Snapstreak is a number which indicates how many days in a row two people have snapped each other. The number appears to the right of a friend’s name. There are emoji’s that go along with that number that indicate whether there is a streak going or if the streak is about to expire.

The question on my mind is this: Does a streak put a measurable number on a friendship for Snapchat users? Personally, I worry about the tendency of teens to measure their perceived importance or popularity among their peers by an arbitrary social media number. Are streaks becoming just another social media ploy that increases the social pressure our children feel in an effort to promote the use of the app which ultimately leads to more revenue for Snapchat? What is the cost (pun intended) to our children’s relationships, self esteem, and confidence? When I am in schools, I often hear kids tell me how many streaks they have going and how many days they have with the streak.

I have heard both sides of the argument from teens themselves. Recently, at a school in New York, one middle school boy told me that ‘streaks are stupid and cause people to send meaningless snaps’. He went on to tell me that he has received snaps of complete darkness with the message ‘#streak’ included. He described feeling that the person cared more about a streak than truly connecting and communicating with him.

On the flip side of this discussion, I asked a college student what he thought of Snapstreaks. He said this:

I feel like it can help people who are bad at keeping friendships going a little more accountable in the relationship. However, I don’t like when the snap is sent ONLY to keep the streak alive.

Scores

While Snapstreaks generate a number that can be viewed as a measures of the value of a friendship, a Snapchat score provides a  different analytic. A score is basically a number that measures the number of snaps a user has sent and received, stories that have been posted, and some other factors.

While a Snapchat score does not seem to carry the same importance and implied meanings of a Snapstreak, it still gives a number that can be perceived by teens as a measure of popularity and self importance. For example, my Snapchat score is about 1,500, but my son has a score of 161,000. Personally, I could care less about this.  However, I worry that a teen might draw some fairly inaccurate conclusions from a number that was devised to increase traffic on the app and generate more advertising revenue. Think of all the numbers that are generated for our children as a result of social media activity…followers, likes, Snapstreaks, Snapscore, friends.  It is a lot to manage and navigate for anyone much less our children.

The Challenge of Summer and Screen Time

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For some of us, this might be your kids 1st week of summer vacation and you are basking in the freedom from hectic schedules, the stress of homework, and sleeping a little later in the mornings. For others, this might be the 3rd or 4th week of summer and the thrill of freedom might be starting to wear thin at times. While I love the opportunity to hop on the bikes with my daughter at the drop of a hat or spend the day at the pool, I also worry about the abundance of free time on my kids’ hands. I see this translate into more time with phones in their hands and iPads at their sides.

How do we manage summer with all the pros of freedom, sun, and fun and all the cons of potentially more screen time? How do we avoid the verbal conflicts of ‘put your phone down’, ‘stop texting’, and ‘how long have you been watching Netflix’? Here are a few suggestions that might help manage screen time and phone usage this summer in a healthy way.

Set limits and be consistent in enforcing them.

Think about how much screen time is appropriate for your child. Some families like to measure this on a daily basis, while others like to measure it on a weekly basis. Regardless of what you decide is appropriate, be consistent in enforcing it across the summer including time on vacation with long car rides. One of the great byproducts of this is that kids will learn how to manage their time which is a great lifelong skill to develop. Another suggestion in setting limits that might be helpful is to let your child collaborate on the limits and rules. Have a discussion about how much is appropriate and how it will be measured and tracked. If your child feels like he had a voice in this, he may show less resistance to the limits and rules.

Use technology to enhance your child’s passions.

My daughter loves to bake. A few summers ago, I said that she needed to write over the summer. This did not go over well at all. ‘Mom, I am not doing school work during the summer!’ I get it. I can’t blame her. But research shows that kids lose so much ground over the summer if they don’t do anything. I suggested that she create a blog around baking. She loved this idea and was really excited to bake and then WRITE about it. The writing, however, was done on a WordPress site. She has continued to keep up the site and expand it. This summer, she has already overhauled her website and has been writing blog entries. Technology is not only feeding her passion but it has also been a great way to intersect education with technology. And the best part? Absolutely no badgering, nagging, or fighting over summer homework!

Read a book together that involves challenges of online activities and social media.

Let’s face it, these are tough issues and issues that kids face on a daily basis. They are difficult topics for kids and parents to talk about but yet there are so many unanswered questions and slippery slopes to navigate. There are some good Young Adult, fiction books that are good reads for both your middle/high schooler as well as for parents. Read them at the same time and talk about the issues and challenges. Form a small book group with your child’s friends and parents. This is a great way to get your child engaged in the book as well as hear other parents’ thoughts and ideas. Here are a few books that I recommend:

  • Can’t Look Away by Donna Cooner
  • Girl Online by Zoe Sugg

Keep busy with activities your child loves.

Remember, there was life before Instagram, YouTube, and Netflix. Your child might not realize this, but it is true. Sometimes kids forget that there are things that they love that do not involve a screen, but sometimes the screen is the quickest and easiest solution to boredom. There are camps, classes, day trips, swimming pools, parks, books, bikes, and so many other things that are fun during the summer and sometimes not available during the school year. My daughter is attending a pottery camp this week and loves it! Another suggestion is to have your child research a day trip or sites to see on vacation. Yes, the iPad can be used to do the research, but it is being used in a productive way.

Never discount the power of bartering for screen time.

I love nothing better than a good negotiation. Do these chores and the reward is an hour of screen time. Read for an hour and you can watch Netflix for 30 minutes. Screen time can be used as the carat to motivate your child to do the things that are normally a fight to get accomplished. Never discount the power of brokering a great deal.

Schedule tech free time for the entire family.

This is a practice that I highly recommend for all families all year round (I blogged about previously.) The beauty of summer is the lack of schedules and running around. However, this can also result in the loss of some fundamentally sound family practices. Make sure that you find some time throughout the summer for everyone to put their technology down for a few hours or a day or even for an entire vacation. The days are longer and there is so much to do outside as a family. I love this time of year!

News Alert: Harvard Rescinds Offers for Obscene Memes

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40,000 high school students from the class of 2017 applied to Harvard this year. 2,056 of those applicants were offered admittance to the most prestigious university in the US. Approximately 1,725 applicants accepted Harvard’s offer. That is an acceptance rate of 4.3%! Those are pretty slim chances of getting into a dream college.

Privacy and permanency are two of the most difficult concepts for teens to comprehend when it comes to their activities online. Privacy does not exist in any form when talking about social media posts, texts, pictures, videos, etc. Permanency exists beyond the comprehension of middle school and high school students. The challenge we face as parents and educators is to find ways to take these two abstract concepts that teens struggle to understand and make them concrete and relatable. I have had the greatest success in communicating these ideas through the use of real life stories and examples that kids can understand and relate to. Here is the most recent story of teens making some extremely poor decisions online and the resulting consequences.

There are at least 10 students out there who just recently experienced the greatest accomplishments of their young lives. They achieved something that the vast majority of society can only dream about. They were accepted to Harvard University! I cannot imagine the amount of blood, sweat, and tears that went into 4 years of high school to achieve acceptance to Harvard. Yet, with a few poor decisions, a swipe of the finger, and some ignorance about the privacy and permanency of their social media activities, that acceptance has been revoked. I can almost guarantee you that every, single, one of these students have been instructed that their social media actions can have permanent and very severe consequences to their futures. These 2017 graduates have forever changed the course of their college future. If only they had thought before they posted…

Take a moment to share this story with your children or students. It is a great, yet sad, example of the permanency of social media. I will ask my children to read this story and see what their reactions are and where the conversation goes. There may be no comments or questions. There may be a simple shrug of the shoulders or a roll of the eyes. However, there may be a great conversation that results. Regardless, I can be certain that they will understand the impact of these 10+ formerly Harvard bound students’ online actions. This is a very relatable story that will help communicate the message of permanency.

Establishing an Escape Route

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Kids, even good kids, sometimes make mistakes. Our goal as parents is not to prevent mistakes, but to help kids learn from those mistakes. But if they are scared to tell us about their mistakes, they can get in over their heads and end up making even bigger mistakes to try to cover their trail.

Kids, often times, are motivated to ‘stay out of trouble’. This motivation can be the source of poor decisions because of what a tween or teen perceives as ‘trouble’. Trouble is perceived as parents being angry with them, punishing them or most simply, as disappointing parents.

When our children are interacting online through social media, gaming, chatting, texting, etc. things can go wrong in many ways. It can be through a poor decision made, another person deceiving them, or other children’s poor decisions. More often than not, it can come from curiosity as well as lack of awareness of safe online behavior.

According to research conducted by Online Safety Site:

  • 69% of teens regularly receive personal messages online from people they do not know and most of them do not tell a trusted adult about it.
  • 60% of teens say they usually respond only to ask who the person is when they receive online messages from someone they do not know.

When things go wrong for tween and teens online, they need to understand what their options are. However, sometimes the most logical and safest option may be the least appealing to them in asking their parents for help.

This is where we as parents HAVE to come in. We need to provide our children with an “escape route.” This needs to happen before our kids have run into an uncomfortable or unsafe situation. The escape route should be discussed as part of the educating and training we provide when we first allow our kids to have a phone. So what is the escape route?

Well, what is the safest thing for kids who encounter a problem online to do? To tell a parent, right? But kids are often more afraid of getting in trouble or disappointing their parents than the unknown danger, for example, of meeting a stranger at a movie theater or Starbucks. This is, in part, because they don’t fully understand just how dangerous this can be.

I talk to my children about the difference between making a safe decision vs. a decision that keeps them out of trouble with me. I tell my children that I never want them to make an unsafe decision because they are afraid of telling me. This is a tough concept kids to understand. But I call it the Golden Ticket or the “get out of jail free card.” Whatever name you give it, it’s an escape route.

It’s simply a promise that if they get in over their head, whether it is at a party, at school, or online, they can tell me and they will not get in trouble. The Golden Ticket also reminds me that my most important responsibility is to ensure their safety, remain calm, and not react in an emotional way.

We also need to tell our kids, before they ever get online or have a phone: This device enables you to talk to anyone, anywhere, at any time. It also allows people to talk to you, and even for them to pretend to be someone they are not. It’s easy for people to fool one another, or use a photo of someone else as their profile picture.

We need to tell them that we think they are smart and will make good choices, but it is easy to be fooled. And if they end up in a situation where they feel trapped or scared, but are afraid to tell us because they fear getting punished, they have a Golden Ticket, a get out of jail free card. To use one time, as their escape route.

An escape route, discussed and explained before it is needed, functions like a fire drill. A fire drill shows kids how to get out of danger. You hold the fire drill not when the building is burning, but way before, just in case. In a calm, focused way, you have kids practice walking out of the building so that if an emergency occurs, they’ll know how to escape.

Every kid will make mistakes when online and using social media. However, there are also times when kids are led down paths that they don’t see until it is far too late. Many times, teenager do not set out looking to meet a stranger online. They trust that people are who they say they are.

Regardless of being tricked or making a bad decision, as soon as my child realizes that he is in a spot that he cannot safely navigate, I want him to make a safe decision. Setting up an escape route before they ever begin using the phone or the Internet will help them to make safe decisions, even if they have made mistakes.

Using Social Media as a College Application Tool

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If you have sent a child off to high school, you understand that bittersweet feeling of being proud of this child nearing young adult independence while realizing that same child will be flying the nest in 4 incredibly short years. And boy, do those 4 years go quickly!

There are so many things that we as parents are warning our kids about throughout their high school years, especially around the topic of technology and social media. We tell them over and over that one inappropriate comment or picture could greatly alter their future hopes and dreams. We tell them stories of pictures that went viral or comments that pushed another child past the brink. We share the fact that college admissions offices are looking at applicants online accounts and college coaches, like Renee Sloan of the University of Illinois, are requesting to follow or friend recruits’ social media accounts. Everyone wants a peak at the ‘real you’ and not just the test scores. They are asking ‘are you who you said you are?’ and the answer can be found through a student’s social media presence. While they need to hear these messages repeatedly, we all get tired of being the Debbie Downer about their social media activity.

But are colleges, coaches and even employers only looking for that reason to eliminate a student from the process? Not necessarily. The positive message and conversation that we can have with our children is that social media can and should be used in a positive way to differentiate from the masses. College admissions offices, coaches, and employers are looking to social media to find reasons to select one student over another and not as a way to eliminate. Tools such as LinkedIn, are platforms where high school students can differentiate themselves from the thousands of other highly talented and qualified applicants.

Alan Katzman of Social Assurity, is focused on helping high school students create an advantage over the competition through social media. In this 2 minute video segment from an ABC news affiliate, Katzman describes how and why students should use social media, thus improving the quality of applicant they are. Take a minute to watch this and if you have a high school student, watch it together! The best news is that this a great way to talk about the positive ways to utilize social media.

News Article: Gaming Addiction and Kids

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It started with Pong, Atari, Nintendo….today there is Xbox, Play Station 4, Wii. The games used to be simple like Pac Man, Space Invaders, Donkey Kong…today they are more complicated, with graphics that make it near impossible to distinguish the game from reality. And today, the games are proving to be far more addictive than they were 35 years ago.

One of the greatest concerns of parents today is video game addiction. The addiction can be with games as innocuous as Mindcraft or as violent as Call of Duty. Regardless of the game or the gaming platform, gaming addiction is a real issue. As we move into the holiday season with not only gifts of technology and new games filling our homes, but also with the abundance of free time on kids’ hands with school vacation, now is a good time to consider the issues surrounding online gaming. Take a few minutes to read this excellent Washington Post article: The Next Level which provides wonderful insight into the world of gaming addiction.

5 Steps for a Safe Cyber Monday

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Like it or not, the holiday season has arrived! If you are anything like me, you not only welcome Cyber Monday, but make the most of the day. Obviously, the deals can be great, but the real benefit is the ease and convenience of shopping from home. The list of advantages is long…no parking headaches, no frustrating searches through over stocked stores to find the right size, no wasted time waiting in long check out lines, and best of all, no need to deal with the Chicago cold, rain, and snow.

Before you get your credit card handy and start paging through the many Cyber Monday emails you likely have accumulated, take a few minutes to ensure your cyber safety. The entire world knows that Monday, November 28, 2016 is the biggest online shopping day of the year. Take a few minutes to ready your computer for the day and ensure your online safety.

  1. Ensure your browser is updated. Browser programs are updated to address problems. If you have an outdated version on your computer, the website you are accessing may not display properly and there can also be security issues allowing someone to hack into your computer. To check what version you currently have on your computer, open the browser program, go to the toolbar up top, click on “Help,” and then click on “About [the name of the program.]”
  2. Ensure you have the latest operating system updates. Both Microsoft and Apple update their systems regularly to ensure the safety and reliability of your computer. Don’t procrastinate. These updates offer the latest protection against malicious online activities.
  3. Ensure you have updated your anti-virus software. Cyber Monday is a favorite day for hackers, thieves and cyber-terrorists. Reduce your vulnerability by downloading the latest update. Remember, antivirus software is used to prevent, detect, and remove computer viruses, worms, and trojan horses. Don’t take chances with an out of date program. Also, limit the number of unknown sites you visit.
  4. Scan your computer for Spyware. Spyware tracks your movements on the Web and often times interferes with your computer’s performance. If you have time, run a full system scan of the hard drive before you start shopping to make sure that you do not have any unwanted intrusions.
  5. Prepare for computer freezes. If your computer freezes, simply reboot the computer. Click on the “Ctrl-Alt-Delete” keys. The task manager will open and click the “Start Task Manager” tab. A window will open and you will see the site that is not responding. Click the “End Task” tab and the web page will close. For Apple computers, hold the “power” button down until the computer turns off or select the “Opt- Cmd-Esc” keys.

Best of luck with the online deals and happy shopping! And remember Cyber Monday is a great reminder to be aware of your online security.

Quick Tips to Keep Your Child Safe Online

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When I work with parents, I am often asked for some ‘quick tips’ for improving children’s safety online. Take a minute to share these suggestions with your children. You might feel like you have talked to them about these previously, but you can never have the discussion around online safety enough.

General Tips

  • Create unique and strong passwords that do not use first and/or last names.
  • Change a password after logging on to a device that is not your own.
  • Never give out personal information online.
  • Never share passwords with anyone other than your parents.
  • Make sure Location Services is ‘Off’ for the camera on all devices that are able to take pictures.

For more details and explanation of these tips, read this earlier blog on basic tips for online safety.

Social Media

  • Have your the username and password for all your child’s social media accounts.
  • Only allow your child to go on sites that have privacy settings.
  • All accounts should be set to ‘Private’.
  • Avoid social media sites that allow users to post anonymous questions or comments.
  • Most importantly, understand what social media sites your child is using. Understand what the age limits are and what risks are associated with the social network.

Online Gaming

  • Understand the games that your child is playing. What are the age limits? How much violence is there? Is there sexual content?
  • Avoid the use of head sets.
  • Keep gaming devices in common areas of the home.
  • Set gaming time limits.
  • Set a gaming curfew if your child is gaming online.
  • Use the parental controls on gaming consoles to control content, access to the Internet, and timers. Click here for more details on setting parental controls on Xbox 360.

 

 

Create Tech Free Time in Your Home

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A little over a year ago, my then 14 year old, son asked if he could have 7 friends over for a BBQ. Of course we said yes and didn’t give it much more thought from there. When the night came, we grilled some burgers and hotdogs and then left the kids alone on the patio. After 30 minutes or so, I looked out the door to see all 8 kids sitting around the patio table talking, laughing and generally having a great time with the exception of the constant texting, snapping, and instagramming of pictures. Quite honestly, it looked the same as most innocent teenagers hanging out. It was at that moment that I wished that I had taken all the phones when the kids arrived at the house. As I verbalized this thought to my 16 year old son, he replied ‘Mom, you’d never have the guts to do that.’ And that was all it took to propel me into action.

I went into the cabinet and found the cutest wicker basket I could, because every good phone roundup starts with a cute basket. To the shock of my older son, I headed for the patio. As I walked out, I wondered what the heck I was doing and was I committing social suicide for both myself and my son who has having the BBQ. But it was too late. I was committed. I walked up to the table, and with the nicest smile I could find, announced ‘Phone Roundup’ as I put the basket in the middle of the table. Shockingly, every single kid, without hesitation, put his or her phone in the basket. I said thanks and walked inside and smiled at my older son proving to him that I did have the guts.

What happened next, I never expected. I looked out the window 5 minutes later and saw all the kids playing Frisbee on the lawn. As darkness took over, they switched games to Ghost in the Graveyard. Games! Yes, they were playing games that I played at that age. After all his friends departed for the night, my son came in and thanked me for the BBQ and said ‘and thanks for taking the phones.’ There was still a part of me that wondered if he would be angry or embarrassed at my Phone Roundup. So I asked him why he was thanking me. His response was this:

Well, we were all hanging out together but after you took the phones, we were REALLY together. We stopped snapping and texting friends that weren’t here and we were just hanging out and talking, which was awesome. I forgot how fun Ghost in the Graveyard is!

Kids need tech free time. We all need tech free time. Just like having tech free space in the home, creating tech free time for your family can be part of your digital road map that you may have previously created. Tech free time for the family can be scheduled on a regular basis, like every Sunday evening from 7pm-9pm. Or it can also be less scheduled but on a regular basis, like once a month. Whatever works for your family. Similar to tech free space, the key to success is that EVERYONE in the family should go tech free during this time.

One thing to consider is how  TV fits into this plan. My daughter is quick to remind me that TV is technology and it should not be used during tech free time. So sometimes we will play some board games or play some game outside. Nobody is forced to play games. People can do what they want to do during this time. For us, the only requirement is that technology is put down for that window of time. What generally happens is that everyone ends up coming together at some point and interacting.

It sounds so simple. The reality is that the first few times we suggested tech free time in the house, it was met with resistance by my children. My daughter actually asked, with great dismay, ‘What will we do?’ as if there is nothing to do if technology is eliminated for a few hours. However, as all of us adjusted to putting phones down and not reacting to every buzz and beep of a snap or text, we all started to enjoy the freedom of being disconnected for a few hours.  My sons’ snaps and texts were still there 2 hours later and my daughter realized that there are many things to do that do not involve a screen!