Cyber Safety in the News

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Nigeria hands over two suspects in sextortion case linked to suicide of Michigan high school athlete

In a rare move, two Nigerian men were extradited to the U.S. to face charges in a sexual extortion scheme that authorities say prompted the suicide last year of a 17-year-old Michigan high school student. “Here was three Nigerian men that conspired from across the planet and came into my house in the middle of night while I was sleeping, and murdered my son,” his father John DeMay told NBC News in May. In most cases, families of sextortion victims never see justice served.

 

Finding the right technology balance for your kids

The goal is to make sure our children are not tech illiterate, but also not tech saturated. In other words, how do we find the proper amount of exposure to technology to make sure our kids aren’t overwhelmed by it? This article gives great ideas for creating healthy technology habits in your home, and ones you can begin from an early age. One of the best habits we recommend is to designate specific areas of your home as tech-free zones, such as the dining table or children’s bedrooms.

 

NYC principal threatens to suspend students who follow specific Instagram accounts

A New York City principal issued an unusual threat this week: All students who follow anonymous social media accounts connected to the school community could face suspension and lose out on a recommendation letter for college or work. This is an attempt to curb many of the anonymous confession type pages that are posting “horrifying content” including “graphic and direct threats to specific children with bullying comments,” which can be the source of many student behavior issues.

 

Top Parental Concerns? Screen Time and Social Media

This comes as no surprise to many: As kids head back to school, many parents are worried about technology use. Specifically, the use of screen time, social media, internet safety and the effects on student’s mental health. One of the solutions mentioned is technology safety education for students and we couldn’t agree more!

 

Being 13: What it’s like to be a teenage girl in the digital age

If you have teenagers, this is a must read!  This article gives a great in depth feel for what it’s like to be 13 in the age of social media, as the journalist worked with 3 teenage girls for over a year’s time, studying their social media habits. The article includes links to more information about how social media affects the teenage brain, and advice to create healthy phone habits.

 

UK’s Online Safety Bill finally passed by parliament

In their effort to make the UK the safest place in the world to be online, Britain’s long-awaited Online Safety Bill has been agreed by parliament and will soon become law, setting tougher standards for social media platforms such as Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. The bill will be focused on child protection and the removal of illegal content from popular platforms. It will also be expected to prevent children from accessing harmful and age-inappropriate content like pornography by enforcing age limits and age-checking measures.

Cyber Safety in the News

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Instagram’s new feature protects users from unwanted images and videos in DMs

Instagram is launching a new feature that is designed to better protect users from unwanted images and videos in direct messages. Instagram says with these new restrictions, people will no longer receive unwanted images or videos from users they don’t follow, nor will strangers be able to message them repeatedly. This is a great step to protect the many students who use social media from predators.

Professors have an assignment: Prevent ChatGPT chaos in the fall

AI chatbots have triggered a panic among educators, who are flooding listservs, webinars, and professional conferences to figure out how to deal with the technology. Many educators are using AI in their classrooms for the first time this year to help lesson plan, create assignments and further help students with special needs or English as a second language. They are also possibly encountering students using ChatGPT within their assignments for the first time.

New law entitles child social media influencers to a percentage of earnings: ‘It’s kind of a new world’

Illinois is the first state in the U.S. to ensure child social media influencers are compensated for their work. Besides coordinated dances and funny toddler comments, online family vlogs nowadays may share intimate details of their children’s lives like grades, potty training, illnesses, and misbehaviors for countless strangers to view. Now, those children will be paid for it.

China wants to limit minors to no more than two hours a day on their phones

China is proposing new measures to curb the amount of time that kids and teens can spend on their phones, as the country takes aim at internet addiction and tries to cultivate “good morality” among minors. It would restrict daily screen time to a maximum of two hours a day, depending on the age group. It is interesting to see what other countries are doing to combat screen time issues amongst minors as the US works to create legislation to tackle the same issues.

Parents Are Using Apple Airtags To Keep Track Of Their Kids, And To Hopefully Give Them More Freedom

Many parents and caregivers have recently turned to tracking devices to keep tabs on children old enough to wander away but too young for a phone. Trackers are being placed in backpacks, on bikes, or directly on kids for extra accuracy, and some parents sew them into jackets as an ever-increasing paranoia settles over our kids’ safety. So innovative!

Officials share school safety tips before posting photos of your child online

When it comes to your back-to-school pictures, law enforcement advises parents to not disclose their child’s information online. Keeping these tips in mind as you post can help eliminate predators from knowing personal information about your child and avoiding contact with them.

Cyber Safety in the News

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So your tween wants a smartphone? Read this first

Your tween wants a smartphone very badly. And they’re giving you many reasons why. Before you hand one over to your child, make sure they are ready, as we find it is much harder to take the device away after the child has experienced it. Many industry experts agree: delay, delay, delay.

Threads Becomes Most Rapidly Downloaded App, Raising Twitter’s Ire

Instagram’s new app was downloaded more than 30 million times in 16 hours. Twitter threatened legal action against its rival. Time will tell whether Threads will become one of the social media apps that teens and tweens continue to use daily.

Evidence of social media’s harm is abundant

Social media screen time contributes to ongoing feelings of anxiety, depression, irritability, and an increase in impulsive behavior. Students who use their screens too much are often sadder and lonelier. The average time spent on a smartphone is more than seven hours a day. When we speak with parents, teachers, principals, and teens, we often hear about social media’s particular harm within the schools.

Personalized chatbot tutors will likely revolutionize traditional education and benefit students

The future is bright as AI revolutionizes education. Berkeley professor and leading AI expert Stuart Russell speculates that as technology evolves, it could revolutionize traditional education with ChatGPT-style personalized tutors. “Education is the biggest benefit that we can look for in the next few years,” Russell told the Guardian of AI’s potential impact on education. “It ought to be possible within a few years to be delivering a pretty high quality of education to every child in the world. That’s potentially transformative.”

Child predators are using Discord, a popular app among teens, for sextortion and abductions

The popular app Discord has a dark side. In hidden communities and chat rooms, adults have used the platform to groom children before abducting them, to trade child sexual exploitation material (CSAM) and to extort minors whom they trick into sending nude images. Experts have suggested that Discord’s young user base, decentralized structure, and multimedia communication tools, along with its recent growth in popularity, have made it a particularly attractive location for people looking to exploit children.

Get Phones Out of Schools Now

Experts often agree that smartphones in the classroom impede learning, stunt relationships, and lessen belonging. Many educators say they should be banned from schools. We are noticing an increase in schools making policies to ban phones during classroom use throughout the school day.

More than 2,000 families suing social media companies over kids’ mental health

More than 350 lawsuits are expected to move forward this year against TikTok, Snapchat, YouTube, Roblox and Meta – the parent company to Instagram and Facebook. Experts often debate whether this is a technology issue, or a parenting issue and it will be interesting to see if a precedent is set once these lawsuits are decided.

 

 

Cyber Safety In The News

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As part of the Cyber Safety Consulting mission, we want to bring you as much current information as possible. To that end, we have pulled together a compilation of news articles over the past month. One may catch your interest, two, or maybe all of them. Take a look and we hope this helps!

For the full article, click the headline and you will be taken to the original article.

The Best Parental Control Apps to Manage Screen Time (And Keep Your Kid Safer Online)

We often recommend parental controls apps during our presentations. Parental controls allow adults to set limits on their child’s app access and overall phone usage, and they serve as “training wheels” to help kids and teens build healthy tech habits. Keep in mind – parental control apps are not perfect – they simply help parents do a better job of parenting around technology.

His Son, 17, Was Sextortion Victim, Then Died by Suicide. Now, S.C. Dad Protects Other Kids from Same Fate

Unfortunately, we are hearing stories like this one all too often. We consistently warn teenagers about the dangers of online sextortion schemes. According to the FBI, they are the fastest growing crime on the Internet. While these stories are very tragic, teenagers need to not only understand the risks they face, but they need to hear the examples of HOW those risks come at them online in order to better protect themselves.

It’s time to put kids’ online safety ahead of Big Tech profits

According to recent CDC data, teenagers are reporting record levels of sadness, hopelessness, and suicidal thoughts. The Kids Online Safety Act (KOSA) aims to protect and empower young people against the toxic content driven at them by black box algorithms and will hold Big Tech accountable.

The Kids Online Safety Act is Still a Danger to Our Rights Online

While The Kids Online Safety Act is a step in the right direction with many positives, this article raises the privacy concerns regarding the newly proposed legislation. Who would control all of this new personal information and how can we protect it?

The Best Smartwatches and Phones for Kids

If parents don’t want to give their child an adult smartphone but do want them to have a way to communicate as they become more independent, there are definitely options and we love to share these alternatives with parents.

Surgeon General Issues New Advisory About Effects Social Media Use Has on Youth Mental Health

We applaud Surgeon General Murthy and the awareness he brings to children’s online and social media safety.  He has stated “The most common question parents ask me is, ‘is social media safe for my kids?’. The answer is that we don’t have enough evidence to say it’s safe, and in fact, there is growing evidence that social media use is associated with harm to young people’s mental health,”

‘Shemy’ Schembechler and accountability in the Twitter age

We warn students that people will judge and make assumptions about your character based on your social media presence. In a very real sense, what you endorse on social media captures what you are willing to broadcast about yourself to the world regarding who you are and what you believe. Unfortunately, some people have had to learn that lesson the hard way.

Cyber Safety in the News

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As part of the Cyber Safety Consulting mission, we want to bring you as much current information as possible. To that end, we have pulled together a compilation of news articles over the past month. One may catch your interest, two, or maybe all of them. Take a look and we hope this helps!

For the full article, click the headline and you will be taken to the original article.

ChatGPT poses challenges for educators

New York Times

ChatGPT continues to be a challenge for educators. Universities are aiming to educate students about the new Artificial Intelligence tools available online. The University at Buffalo in New York and Furman University in Greenville, S.C., said they planned to embed a discussion of A.I. tools into required courses that teach entering or freshman students about concepts such as academic integrity.

Teens and Pornography – 2022 Report by Common Sense Media

Common Sense Media

The results of this research confirm a very important point: It’s time for us to talk about pornography. We need to consider conversations with teens about pornography the same way we think of conversations about sex, social media, drug and alcohol use, and more. That said, pornography isn’t for kids, and work must be done to ensure they do not encounter it accidentally.

White Supremacy is growing in online gaming communities

Fast Company

The new Anti-Defamation League (ADL) study highlights the increasing presence of extremism and toxicity within games such as ‘Grand Theft Auto’ and ‘World of Warcraft.’ “White supremacists and extremists are pushing their ideas into the mainstream across society, including online games,” said ADL CEO Jonathan Greenblatt in a statement. “We know that what starts online doesn’t always end online—it can have deadly consequences in our communities.”

Poison pill: How fentanyl purchased on Snapchat killed a 17-year-old

Washington Post

An alarming number of fentanyl deaths are now caused by what officials call “hot” pills — tablets made to look like prescription medicine, but which instead contain potentially lethal amounts of fentanyl. These can be easily purchased using social media for anyone with a credit card, Cash App, Venmo or PayPal account.  Alarmed drug enforcement officials ramped up their warnings that “One Pill Can Kill,” a campaign to alert the public that the illicit drug market, boosted by easy access to online dealers, was flooded with pills that seemed harmless but were often deadly.

Jonathan Haidt on the ‘National Crisis’ of Gen Z

Wall Street Journal

Warped by social media and a victimhood culture, today’s young people will imperil American culture and capitalism, he warns. To hear social psychologist Jonathan Haidt tell it, today’s generation gap has widened into a chasm. “We have a whole generation that’s doing terribly,” he says in an interview and calls it a “national crisis.”

Map: Here are the states that have banned TikTok on government devices

Yahoo News

Kentucky, North Carolina, and Wisconsin this week became the latest states to ban the popular China-based video sharing mobile app TikTok from government-issued devices. They join the federal government and 25 state governments to make such a move.  FBI director Chris Wray expressed concerns that China’s government could use the app owned by Chinese tech giant ByteDance to exploit Americans’ user data for espionage operations and to control their mobile device software.

THE OCCULUS QUEST 2: A PARENT’S GUIDE TO THE HOTTEST NEW TOY

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What was the hottest gift this year on tweens and teens holiday wish list? As usual, technology related gifts were high in demand and many of my children’s friends asked for and received the Oculus Quest 2 Virtual Reality Headset. As a mother of three boys (ages 8-13), I sought more information on this new […]

Read more

TikTok Challenges and Safety Settings

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TikTok, have you heard of it? Without question, this was the top-ranking app in 2020, with good reason. According to Forbes, the social media platform, used for creating, sharing and viewing short videos, had 850 million downloads in 2020. As the pandemic set in and lockdowns were put in place, TikTok grew exponentially in popularity.

Taking a closer look at this craze over the last year, there are so many areas in which to dive deeper. First of all, if you are wondering what this app even is, start here: TikTok Safety: What You Need to Know will provide you with a basic overview of the app.

Personally, I spent more hours than I care to admit, scrolling through my TikTok feed. While I am not creating TikToks, I do love to watch them, and it is amazing how 10 minutes can quickly turn into hours passively viewing TikToks. Watching other people dance, regardless of ability, brings a smile to my face.

If you think this is a platform designed for Generation Z or even Millennials, you are mistaken. While these groups dominate the app, there are no age limits to those enjoying the fun to be had. Everyone from Grandma to the baby of the house is dancing, telling jokes, and generating memes. Additionally, you might find a single person grooving to a song from the 90’s or an entire family performing a choregraphed dance right there in the family room. There is no single age group, race, or gender cranking out the videos; that is one of the great beauties of TikTok. All are welcome.

While many users create their own original content, trends and challenges have taken root and lived a rich life from TikTok. A challenge starts with a single video that turns into a widely followed (going viral) and replicated video. The videos can be anything from a dance to a comedy bit or a simple quote. Some of these trends are positive and entertaining, while others can be negative or dangerous.

Looking at a positive example, the Dreams Challenge breathed new life into Fleetwood Mac’s 1977 hit single “Dreams”, which most Gen Z’ers had never even listen to. Credit Nathan Apodaca, an Idaho potato worker, for making a TikTok in which he rides his long board, sips Ocean Spray Cranberry juice, and lip-syncs the hit single. The unsuspecting video went viral with 72 million views and 12 million likes. It even got Stevie Nicks (of Fleetwood Mac) to lace up her roller skates and participate in her own TikTok, not to mention getting the hit back on Billboard’s top 10.

You can also find dance challenges where users replicate the same dance to a single song. People dance alone for the camera, with friends, and as a family, no skill needed! Several of the more popular challenges over the past year include “The Renegade”, “Blinding Lights”, and “Savage”. Even LeBron James and family joined in the fun with a TikTok made for the Can’t Touch This (MC Hammer) Challenge. Regardless of creating the videos or simply viewing in the feed, these provided hours of fun and connection for people during the Pandemic.

Another positive that came out of the last year of TikTok, and provides a lifeline for many, is the ‘I had pasta tonight’ phrase which is code for someone who is experiencing depression or suicidal thoughts.  It gives Gen Z’ers a way to subtly reach out to the community for help and support. When someone posts this, the community jumps into action by flooding the struggling user’s account with thousands of likes and positive comments of support and reasons to live.  The message sent is ‘life is worth living and the community wants you here’. I wonder how many lives have been saved in this way!

As with everything, where there is good, there can be bad in the form of offensive, dangerous, or negative challenges. Many of these challenges start as pranks but then go viral and problems result. Take, for example, the Skull Breaker Challenge. This challenge originated in Spain when two kids recorded the stunt, posted and it went viral. What is it? Think back to when we were kids, and someone pulls a desk chair out when another student is in the process of sitting. Similarly, in this situation, three people stand in a line taking turns jumping up, however, the person in the middle does not know that the two others will kick his legs out from under him with the intent for the unknowing participant to fall backwards. While this may have started as a harmless prank, there have been instances of serious brain injury resulting.

Another challenge that started innocently but has the possibility of going bad is the Silhouette Challenge. Users start by creating a video that is innocent in nature. As the music changes, a second video is added that is has a filter, changing the appearance of the user into a silhouette. The idea is that the silhouette encourages a more comfortable way for the user to show off a provocative pose, sexy lingerie, or even less. With the filter, the user is appropriately obscured from view. The problem arose when another user started posting videos on how to peel back the filter, exposing the original user in ways never intended. The videos quickly transitioned from fun to life altering, damaging videos.

In a year that has been filled with isolation, boredom, stress, and anxiety, TikTok has provided many positives to life. Clearly, the platform is very social in nature and has truly been open to every type of person regardless of interest, age, and ability to dance like Mariah Carey. It has provided connection for many and more importantly, connection for many that had very few avenues to find others. And finally, it has offered countless hours of entertainment to the young, the old and everyone in between. But like all apps, it comes with its risks and dangers. Moderation, balance, and knowledge are key to helping kids maximize the benefits and minimize the risks to social media apps like TikTok.

Online Gaming: Is this a problem for my child?

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This past week I had the privilege of spending three days in a school, working face to face with students from 4th through 8th grade. Although I have been working with students all fall via Zoom, there is something special about being in the classroom with them. The conversation is naturally more interactive. One question I love to start each session with is “where do you guys hang out online?” My objective is twofold: I want to tailor my talk to what they best relate to AND I always am looking to find any new trends both by gender and age. The most dominating answer I received over these three days was simple: Gaming, gaming, and more gaming. The specific grade did not seem to make a difference; there is a lot of online gaming happening with tweens and teens. It makes sense as they have a whole lot of time to fill these days!

As I thought about the high frequency of gaming in our kids’ lives, I thought about my own kids. I have a 22-, 19-, and 16-year-old. Over the last 10 years, we have purchased three gaming systems for the kids: Wii, Xbox, and Play Station. Of those three systems, only one currently remains in my home because both my sons have hijacked a system for use in their college apartments. Age does not seem to be a factor….4th grade to college, gaming is huge!

Obviously, there is a need, as parents, to deepen our knowledge of the gaming world. With that goal in mind, here is a quick FAQ to cover some information around this topic.

What devices are kids gaming on?

Anywhere and everywhere. Games can be played on iPads, mobile phones, iTouches, laptops, and gaming consoles. If the device allows access to the Internet, games can be played. Most games are either downloaded from the Internet, downloadable apps, or websites.  Realize that if your child is gaming on a console, like Nintendo Switch, they can game with anyone, anywhere and not just the people in their physical space.

What are the most popular games?

There are lots. With younger elementary students, there seems to be a high frequency of Roblox, Minecraft, and the latest craze of Among Us. As kids get a little older, they are moving to more sophisticated games: Fortnite Battle Royal, Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto, League of Legends as well as EA Sports games like Fifa, Madden NFL, and NBA 2K.

Are there any upsides to gaming?

Of course! When the games are used with balance and moderation, there are benefits. First, online gaming provides a line of connection for kids to hang out with their friends and do what they enjoy. This has been a huge benefit during the pandemic, especially for kids that do not have access or an interest in social media. Additionally, most of the games require strategic thinking and creativity, think Minecraft. Other games require collaboration skills. Players will survive longer and progress farther if they can work effectively with others.

Are there downsides of gaming?

There are downsides, but many of these downsides come into play depending on the game content and the amount of time spent playing. It is important to consider the personality of your child when thinking through the dangers. Addiction or excessive play time is a common problem; once they start playing, it could be hard to stop and even harder to find another activity as interesting or stimulating as the online game. Another concern is isolation. While gaming can be a good source of connection to friends, it can also lead to physical isolation in the home. The presence of online predators is far more common than most parents realize. Predators go where kids are and especially where parents are not. Online bullying is another real concern. The culture of this world promotes ‘trash talking’ in the words of students, that can very quickly cross the line into online harassment. As you move into the genre of first shooter games, exposure to violence, which, for some kids, has shown to lead to increased aggression.

You mentioned the presence of predators. How does that work?

As I mentioned above, predators go where kids are unsupervised. This is the online gaming world. It represents the greatest disconnect from parental knowledge to where kids spend time. The more time they spend, the more opportunity for a predator. That is the first part of the predator equation. The second part of the equation is an opportunity to groom or build a relationship with the child. Online gaming provides a perfect environment, especially with games that require teamwork. The predator can easily build a ‘partnership’ with the child which will lead to trust and friendship. When a predator can establish these things, it opens the door to the predator.

My kid loves to game. I’m not sure I can eliminate this. What suggestions do you have for safely gaming?

I understand your situation as my kids are the same! There are things you can definitely do to reduce your child’s vulnerability. It starts with you! Understand what games they are playing and what the dangers are with that game. Understand the age rating for the game (they all have age ratings). Read reviews and google questions like Is Fortnite safe for kids? You can also consult other sites like Common Sense Media which offers reviews of every game. Here are a few other suggestions:

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Gaming is a topic that has tremendous breadth and depth. It is one of the trickier aspects of parenting around technology. If you feel overwhelmed or intimidated, another option is asking your child to show you how it works. This may provide you with a pathway to effective conversation with them. Continue to dig in and don’t give up. Let me leave you with an inspirational quote I find quite appropriate: “It will be hard, but it’ll be the right kind of hard!”

***News Alert***Drug Dealers Connecting and Selling Drugs to Kids on Snapchat

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Did you know that drug dealers are wheeling and dealing with kids on Snapchat? And the drugs they are pedaling across your middle and high schooler’s favorite app are often laced with fentanyl, resulting in overdoses.

While very scary, I wondered if my own high school junior knew about this trend on Snapchat. I asked her and she did not know about this or had seen it online. The question sparked her interest. Together, we watched this NBC Today Show clip, which depicts the tragic story of Dr. Laura Bermen’s 16-year-old son. He bought a Xanax on Snapchat, had it delivered to his home, took it, and was found dead in his bedroom a few hours later. What he did not know was the Xanax was laced with fentanyl, which causes overdose.

When we finished watching the clip, she looked at me and asked, “What’s fentanyl?” I was shocked!

“You don’t know what fentanyl is???” I replied. This is on me. I never thought about talking about this with her or my two older children. To be honest, it scares the life out of me. While I hope my children never experiment with drugs, the reality is they might. And now, with the latest trend of drug dealers infiltrating the place where kids hang and connect most often and freely, it has just become incrementally easier for dealers to connect, sell and deliver. With a single click, a teen can purchase drugs and have them delivered to the house. It’s like Uber Eats for drugs!

My heart breaks for Dr. Bermen and her husband, but I am grateful for their willingness to share their experience in the hope that we can educate and protect our kids. PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO WATCH THIS CLIP, SHARE IT WITH YOUR CHILD, AND HAVE A CONVERSATION.

Helping Our Kids Process Digital Media About Capitol Riots

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The events of Wednesday, January 6th will not soon be forgotten regardless of your political preferences and beliefs. These events continue to dominate the news cycle in various forms, and so we continue to relive the events repeatedly. News stories, op-eds, video footage, and even various memes can be found everywhere on the Internet.

As some of you may or may not know, my three kids are in that in between place…physically, they look and sound like full-grown adults, but mentally and emotionally, they aren’t quite there yet. They have limited life experiences and are just beginning to form their own thoughts and opinions on the world we are living in.

This weekend, as I continued to scroll through my newsfeed like a drug addict looking for my next score, I realized that tweens and teens, my kids included, are deeply exposed to these events on their own feeds.

According to Common Sense Media, 54% of teenagers say they get their news from social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and even TikTok. 50% of those surveyed reported getting their news from YouTube, which means they are more likely to learn about current events by watching videos as well as getting the reports from social media personalities. It begs the question “How accurate and credible is the information?”

This made me wonder What are my own kids seeing, reading, and talking about as it relates to these events?

In February 2018, we experienced another national tragedy, the mass shooting at Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL. Many school administrators reached out to me looking for suggestions for their parent communities as they grappled with how to talk about this horrific event with their kids. In many ways, the events of last week bring up many similar concerns:

  • What information are our kids hearing, watching, and reading? There is significant footage of violence, vandalism, and foul language that comes with news reports. For example, I went to YouTube and searched “Capitol mob footage” and here is the first result I received. It makes me uncomfortable to watch, so how would an eleven or twelve year old feel?
  • How credible are the sources of the media that our kids are consuming? Kids have little to no interest in verifying online sources for credibility or to understand what bias is being presented. As we know, the Internet is filled with misinformation as well as heavily biased content. This is a great opportunity to remind them to be aware, question, and research the source of information.
  • How are our kids processing the information? When I was a child, I watched coverage of world events on a television, in a living room, with family members. My parents could sensor or filter what I heard or how much information I watched about the event. They could see how I reacted to the information. How did I process this in my fragile tween and teen brain? Could I handle it? Did I need to talk about it? Fast forward to today. Children watch coverage, see graphic videos, and learn details, on a smartphone, in a bedroom, ALONE. They process their emotions of fear, anxiety, and confusion alone and without conversation with family, thus missing out on reassurance, clarity, and comfort.

As a parent, I forget that my kids are hearing about these events because I do not actually see them watching TV. When it dawns on me that I should check in with them, it is clear that they are very informed of the events and must be getting this information online.

Here is our opportunity to engage in dialog. But how can you safely and in a non-threatening way, start a conversation? That is always the challenge, especially with teenagers. Here are a few suggestions that might help get the conversation started:

  • What have you heard about the Capitol riots?
  • Have you watched any videos from the riots?
  • How do you feel when you watch the footage?
  • Where online do you go to learn about this?
  • What do you think about all this?

I always remind parents, myself included, to do your best to provide kids the space to talk. Take the time to listen. Understand their thoughts and opinions. Do more listening than speaking. I find that simple responses like “really” and “oh” help to create safe space for them to open their thoughts and feelings. Finally, after a productive conversation with my kids, regardless of whether their thoughts align with me, I often text them an article that might be helpful to them. I truly believe that sometimes the best parenting is just being there and quietly listening, supporting and mentoring.